Trainspotting

"Choose life... choose a job. ..choose a career. choose a family. choose a fucking big television.. choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance..choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. choose a starter home. choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?
I chose not to choose life.. I chose something else.
And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroin? "

Just Another Day..

today was just one of those days when the realisation hits you..the realisation that the world is not meant for someone like you. you are just not cut out in the mould. i stand here lost in a crowd of myself, alone. all i have for company is confusion . this is all i can offer you today, tommorow or whenever, confusion. please dont hurt me, dont confront me with my failures, i know i screwed up, i have not forgotten.
i stand here with an empty head waiting for something to hit, i dont think know what it is. i stand here and see the people aound me., so merry , so gay ,engrossed in their vulgar mirth. cant they see? cant they think? why ?
its just one of those days when death sneeks up on you like a cat sneeks up on a blind mouse. the mouse can feel the warm breath of the cat at the back of its neck. its helpless . and then the cat whispers gently into its ears 'the end is near'.
the terror of death sometimes amazes me . people fear death even more than pain. life hurts much more than death, at the point of death, its all over, you are free from pain, you are free to fly,you are free.

The world

Home is where one starts from.
As we grow older
The world becomes stranger,
The pattern more complicated
Of dead and living.

Right Or Wrong

what is right or what is wrong?
who decides whether something is right or something is wrong? ever wondered?
i for one dont really know for sure whether something is right or wrong, rather i believe it to be either right or wrong. there are certain things which i believe are wrong, eg. acts of cruelty and there are certain things i believe are correct, eg. i believe in caring for the nature.It is rather a way I decide to act, to live. So right or wrong are based on jugdments, these judgments can be ours which are shaped by the world (read society) around us. The society has given us certain rules or acts..known as morality. all our actions are bounded by the confines of morality.

But if all the people on this planet died, and there was no one left to testify for these morals in the future, would these set of rules still apply? would right and wrong still exist? would the truth represented by these morals still hold true? if they still hold true , then who would be holding them? The only answer that comes to my mind is GOD. one has to someone immortal, omnicient to know the true way of living. he or she doesnt die. he lives on forever. but what if God never existed? what would happen to our set of morals then? would they dissappear along with humanity. would right or wrong cease to exist the moment we do not confront the question with a choice?

If the basis of right or wrong is based on such flimsy grounds , perhaps they never existed in the true sense. they are all part of the fantasies, a kind of utilities that mankind have developed to facilitate its existence. So, perhaps there is not such a thing as a true way of acting, a true moral… So, we are left without right and wrong, left without guide. We are left just with ourselves, we are left alone. Therefore, if right and wrong don’t exist, we are free to act, we can do whatever we want. We are free to choose. However, we are fully responsible for our acts and for all consequences that follow those acts. there is no one to blame!