Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Thats all Folks...

the time to bring the curtains down on the blog..dnt know why i just dont feel like writing down my thoughts anymore..it kinda makes them worse and before i know it i see myself trapped in the quagmire of self-loathing and depression. putting down my thoughts onto this blog has really been tough and extremely painful, for its really tough to translate the black hell inside me into words. each and every word on the blog represents a part of my inside..its actually my soul's blood u see splattered all over the page of the blog..(there i go again..).anywasy from now onwards i think it would be better to keep my twisted thoughts locked somewhere inside my twisted mind in a chamber and i throw away the key someplace where nobody can find it.
i feel irritated, stupid, tired, emotionally exhausted. all i want to do now is just silence the noise of my emotions, its insane, i know it and you know it. i now choose to be blinded by the secrets that stir inside of an abyss which is me, if i dont see it, if i dont feel it no one would either, its easier pretending not to know.ignorance is bliss afterall.
how did I let myself fall so deep? my own mind is the biggest actor in causing my degradation-- it is the biggest contributor to my self-deterioration.
anyways, as i write this a word of thanx to all the people who stopped by this blog to drop in their invaluable pearls. (nidhi, hemu, admirer.etc etc )trust me guys ur words really really made me feel special.
anyways for the time being it looks like its back to being me , myself and i. i should not continue down this road anymore and perhaps get out and get a more optimistic approach towards life. eventually i had to stop to catch my breath..
maybe someother day when i decide to run away again , i'll be back. but till then ..it looks like a goodbye.
good bye and goodluck.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

There's a stake through my fat, black heart.

Friday, February 03, 2006

if i would... would she too?