The End of Isolation

Just came across this piece of writing by Fyodor Dostoevsky

"What isolation?" I asked him

The isolation that you find everywhere, particularly in our age. But it won't come to an end right now, because the time has not yet come. Today everyone asserts his own personality and strives to live a full life as an individual. But these efforts lead not to a full life but to suicide, because, instead of realizing his personality, man only slips into total isolation. For in our age mankind has been broken up into self-contained individuals, each of whom retreats into his lair, trying to stay away from the rest of mankind, and finally isolating himself from people and people from him. And, while he accumulates material wealth in his isolation, he thinks with satisfaction how mighty and secure he has become, because he is mad and cannot see that the more goods he accumulates, the deeper he sinks into suicidal impotence. The reason for this is that he has become accustomed to relying only on himself; he has split off from the whole and become an isolated unit; he has trained himself not to believe in the help of others, in people and in humanity, and only trembles for fear he should lose his money and privileges that he has won for himself."

Stationary in the whirl of life

I know it looks like I'm moving, but I'm standing still. Every nerve in my body is so vacant and numb. I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from.

A Feast Of Friends

hmm today evening met up with some really old friends, friends i havent seen in a really long time.years ago, we used be together but then that time is long gone..and meeting them today brought back memories. its kinda strange i think to find that one night you go to bed and the next morning you wake up youre 5 years older.
without even noticing that time has gently passed you by.
i remember that day in january some years back when we were sitting in the warm winter sun at barista. she asked me why i wrote my journal, saying that all that she had to remember was in her head. i said i liked to write down things anyway. but today i know things that i didnt know that day:i know how it is to go back in time and feel the same things when reading those journals. she can't do that by only remembering small details. When reading my old journals I see faces, hear music, feel everything that I felt in that very moment. That is the most precious thing I have. And her big loss.

Quote Of The Day

"That's what real love amounts to- letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending- performing. You get to love your pretence. It's true, we're locked in an image, an act- and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it, they feel like you're trying to steal their most precious possession"
Mr. Jim Morrison
(1943-1971)
R.I.P.

Creep

When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts, I wanna have control
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice, when I'm not around
You're so fuckin special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
When I don't belong here, whoaaa whoaaa

She's running out again...
She's running out, she runs, runs, runs, runs... runs...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here